Well, let me tell ya, this here Catherine Tennant horoscopes thing, it’s somethin’ else. Folks always talkin’ about stars and what they mean. I don’t know much about all that fancy stuff, but I reckon it’s kinda like plantin’ crops. You gotta know when the time’s right, ya know?
What are these horoscopes anyway?
Now, this Catherine woman, she’s been at it for a long time, they say. Twenty years with the UK Telegraph, that’s what I heard. She’s like the old rooster in the henhouse, been there, seen it all. She figures out your horoscope, tells ya what the stars are sayin’ about your day, your week, even your love life. I ain’t never had no one tell me about my love life from the stars before. Back in my day, you just looked at a fella and you knew, or you didn’t. No stars needed.
How do you get your own horoscope?
It ain’t hard to get your readin’, though. You just gotta find your sign. You know, like Aries, Taurus, all them things. They got pictures too, which helps, ’cause I ain’t always good with rememberin’ names. Once you find your sign, you click on it, and there it is. Your daily horoscope, plain as day. Or you can get a weekly one if you don’t want to check it every day. Some folks got more time on their hands than me, I tell ya. I’m too busy milkin’ the cows and feedin’ the chickens.
- Find your sign.
- Click on it.
- Read your daily or weekly horoscope.
What do these horoscopes tell you?
Now, what do these here horoscopes say? Well, it depends on your sign, I guess. Like, if you’re a Leo, maybe it says you’re gonna be full of energy, ready to take on the world. If you’re a Cancer, maybe it says you need to be careful with your feelin’s, don’t let no one step on your toes. It’s all a bit like readin’ the weather, I figure. Sometimes it’s right, sometimes it ain’t. But it’s always somethin’ to think about. Like, if it says it’s gonna rain, you might wanna bring an umbrella, right? Same with the horoscopes, if it says it’s gonna be a tough day, maybe you just stay in bed!
Catherine Tennant’s been doin’ this a long time, so she must know somethin’.
She’s got somethin’ called “Interactive Stars” too. That sounds mighty fancy. Says it’s based on your exact date of birth. Now, that’s somethin’, ain’t it? Like she knows the very day you popped into this world and what them stars were doin’ that day. I remember the day I was born, hot as a pistol and my mama said I screamed louder than a banshee. I wonder what the stars were doing that day? Probably just shakin’ their heads, sayin’, “Here comes trouble!”
And then there’s this “Live Relationship Updates.”
That’s for folks who are all tangled up with someone else. You know, courtin’ or married or whatever they call it these days. It tells ya how things are gonna go with your sweetheart. If the stars are lined up right, maybe it’ll be smooth sailin’. If not, well, you might be in for a bumpy ride. I always say, relationships are like a team of horses, you gotta keep ’em both pullin’ in the same direction or you ain’t goin’ nowhere fast.
So, is it any good?
I don’t know if these horoscopes are the real deal or just a bunch of hooey. But folks seem to like ’em. Maybe it gives ’em somethin’ to hold onto, somethin’ to believe in. Life’s hard, ya know? Sometimes you just need a little somethin’ to tell ya it’s all gonna be okay, or to warn ya to watch out for snakes in the grass. And if Catherine Tennant can do that with her stars, well, more power to her, I say. Me? I’ll just keep an eye on the weather and trust my gut. That’s always worked for me.
Anyway, that’s the gist of it. If you’re into stars and signs and all that, then go on and give Catherine Tennant a try. Who knows, maybe the stars got somethin’ to tell ya.
Tags: [Catherine Tennant, Horoscopes, Astrology, Daily Horoscope, Weekly Horoscope, Zodiac Signs, Stars, Predictions, Relationships, Interactive Stars]
