Well, I heard some folks talkin’ ’bout them horoscopes the other day. Funny quotes about horoscopes, they said. Made me chuckle, ’cause stars ain’t got nothin’ to do with my life, I reckon. But it got me thinkin’, what’s all the fuss about?
What’s Them Star Signs?
My granddaughter, she’s always on that phone of hers, readin’ ’bout these things. Says I’m a somethin’ called a “Cancer.” Sounds like a sickness to me! She says it means I’m all emotional and like to stay home. Well, I do like my home, ain’t that right? And I do get a little weepy when them soap operas come on. Maybe there’s somethin’ to it.
She told me one of them quotes, “Astrology is like a weather report.” Ain’t that somethin’? You look at the sky, you see if it’s gonna rain. But lookin’ at the stars to see if you gonna get lucky? That’s a new one to me!
All Them Different Signs
There’s a whole bunch of ’em, she says. Like that bull one, Taurus. My neighbor, he’s a Taurus. Stubborn as a mule, that one! Always plantin’ his garden the same way, even when I tell him he oughta try somethin’ new. Maybe that’s why they call him a bull.
- Then there’s Leo. Like a lion, I suppose. My granddaughter says they like to be the center of attention. Reminds me of that rooster we used to have. Always crowin’ and struttin’ around.
- Sagittarius, she says they like to travel. That one got me laughin’. Travel where? To the next town over to get groceries? I ain’t been nowhere far in years! And always changing, they say about Sagittarius. Shoot, everything always changing, stars or no stars.
- She read me one about Gemini, says they’re two-faced. Now, I know a few folks like that, but I ain’t gonna name no names. They talk outta both sides of their mouth!
Then there is somethin’ called a Virgo. Sounds like a virgin. I ain’t gonna ask about that! Some of these funny quotes about horoscopes are a bit strange. Like that one about zodiac puns. What in the world is a pun?
Do the Stars Really Know?
I don’t know if I believe all this stuff. Seems like a lot of hocus pocus to me. But my granddaughter, she swears by it. Says it helps her understand people. She even reads her horoscope every day! “Humor is obvious with you,” she reads to me sometimes. I guess I am a bit of a joker. Always loved a good laugh, me and my husband used to.
She read me another one, somethin’ about “zodiac jokes.” Said it would make me “starry eyed.” Well, I don’t know about that, but I do like a good joke. Maybe I’ll ask her to tell me some of them zodiac jokes. Might be funnier than that old joke about the chicken crossin’ the road.
It’s All in Good Fun, I Guess
I guess it’s all harmless, this horoscope stuff. People like to read about themselves, figure out why they are the way they are. Me, I just think people are people. Some are nice, some are mean, some are funny, some are sad. Don’t need no stars to tell me that. Some people are happiest, she says. Like that Leo and Sagittarius. Maybe that’s true. I don’t know, never met a star before.
But if it makes folks happy, then I ain’t gonna judge. Like that quote, “What are the funniest characteristics of your zodiac sign?” That made me think. Maybe there is somethin’ funny about each of us. Maybe I am a funny old crab, like that Cancer thing. I get a little grumpy sometimes, but I always come around. Especially when there is a pie in the oven.
So, these funny quotes about horoscopes, they got me thinkin’. Maybe there’s more to these stars than I thought. Or maybe it’s just a bunch of silly talk. Either way, it’s somethin’ to talk about, ain’t it? And that’s all that really matters, I reckon. Havin’ somethin’ to talk about with your family, even if it is about stars and bulls and fishes in the sky. Keeps things interestin’, that’s for sure.
Now, where’d I put my glasses? I gotta read that horoscope thing again. Just to see what kind of trouble that Cancer is gonna get into today. Might as well have a laugh about it, right? And keep an eye on that weather. Stars or no stars, I don’t want to get caught in the rain without my umbrella. That’s just common sense, ain’t it? And these old bones don’t like the dampness no more, no sir.
