horoscopes by jacqueline bigar

Well, howdy there! Let’s gab a bit about this here… uh… “hor-o-scopes,” they call it. By some fancy lady, Ja-que-line Big-gar. Sounds like a mouthful, don’t it? Anyhow, I ain’t no scholar, but I’ll tell ya what I reckon it all means, plain and simple like.

What them stars be sayin’

Now, this Miss Big-gar, she says stuff about the moon and stars and how they mess with our lives. Says somethin’ ’bout “imagination runnin’ wild” tonight. Well, I reckon that means you might be dreamin’ up some crazy stuff. Maybe you’ll dream ’bout winnin’ the lottery or your chickens layin’ golden eggs. Who knows? It’s all just a big ol’ maybe, if you ask me.

Gemini folks, listen up: She says you Gemini people might wanna stay home and “cozy up.” Sounds like a good excuse to wear your comfy slippers and drink some warm milk before bed. Maybe you’ve been runnin’ around like a headless chicken lately, so takin’ it easy sounds ’bout right.
Birthdays and such: If it’s your birthday, well, happy birthday to ya! Miss Big-gar says you like to travel. That’s nice. Maybe you’ll hitch a ride on a wagon and go see the next town over. She also says you’re “carin’ and empathetic.” Means you got a good heart, I guess. Nothin’ wrong with that.

She also says some folks are “generous humanitarians.” That’s a big word, but I figure it means you’re a good soul who likes helpin’ others. Maybe you share your extra eggs with your neighbors or help ’em fix their fences. That’s good stuff. Being happy when you’re “of service” just means you like bein’ helpful. Nothin’ complicated about it.

Big plans and big words

Then she goes on ’bout “big plans.” Says you might be thinkin’ ’bout travelin’ or learnin’ somethin’ new. Maybe you wanna learn how to make better pickles or how to keep them pesky crows outta your garden. Good for you. She even mentions “medicine” and the “law.” Sounds fancy, but maybe it just means you’re thinkin’ ’bout healin’ folks or makin’ sure things are fair and square. That’s important, ya know.

Strong and steady

And for some lucky folks, she just says they’re “strong.” Well, that’s good, ain’t it? Means you can haul a heavy bucket of water or chop wood without breakin’ a sweat. Life throws a lot at ya, so bein’ strong is a good thing to be. It means you can handle whatever comes your way, whether it’s a bad storm or a grumpy rooster.

Moon alerts and common sense

Now, she talks ’bout somethin’ called a “moon alert.” Says you shouldn’t go shoppin’ or make big decisions ’til a certain time. Well, I always say you shouldn’t go shoppin’ on an empty stomach anyway, and big decisions need some thinkin’ time, moon or no moon. Just use your common sense, that’s what I say. Don’t need no stars to tell ya that.

Plain talkin’ truth

So, there ya have it. That’s my take on these here “hor-o-scopes.” Maybe them stars and moon have somethin’ to do with things, maybe they don’t. But at the end of the day, it’s all ’bout workin’ hard, bein’ kind to folks, and keepin’ your chin up. That’s the best way to live, no matter what them fancy star-gazers say. And remember, eatin’ your greens and gettin’ a good night’s sleep is more important than anythin’ them stars can tell ya. Now, go on and have a good day, ya hear?

More about birthdays

If today’s your birthday, according to this here Miss Big-gar, you like to move around, go places. You’re a kind person, feel for others. Ain’t nothing wrong with that, no sirree. And if today’s your birthday, you also like to help folks, make ‘em happy. That’s mighty fine. And if it’s your birthday you are a strong person, can handle whatever life throws at you. Just like a good sturdy oak tree.