Well, well, well, look at this. They want me to talk about that Justin Toper horoscopes, huh? I heard about him. Some big shot, you know, knows all about the stars and what not. Says he can tell you what’s gonna happen just by lookin’ up at the sky. Sounds like a load of hogwash to me, but what do I know? I just plant my taters and hope for the best.
This Justin Toper, he’s supposed to be real good at them horoscopes. People say he had some heart trouble. A triple bypass, I heard someone whisper. That’s rough. Poor fella. But hey, he’s still kickin’ and tellin’ folks about their futures, so that’s somethin’. He’s got a second chance, they said. Good for him, I guess.
Now, I ain’t one for all that fancy stuff. You want to know about Justin Toper? Go ask the stars, I reckon! But if you want to know about plantin’ corn, I’m your gal. But this horoscope stuff, it’s all a bit too much for me. I mean, how can the stars tell you if you’re gonna meet a tall, dark stranger or find a pot of gold? It don’t make no sense.
- This fella, he writes for some big newspaper, I think. The Daily Record, maybe? Or The Mirror. Something like that.
- They say he’s got a website, too. Official, they call it. Fancy, huh? You can probably find all sorts of Justin Toper horoscope information there.
- I heard he talks about your birthday and what it all means. Ascendant, zodiac, moon… I don’t know nothin’ about all that.
Now some folks, they swear by these things. They read their horoscopes every day, like it’s the gospel truth. They say it helps them. I don’t know. Maybe it does. Maybe it gives ’em somethin’ to hope for. And this Justin Toper, he seems to be the one they all go to. He must be doing somethin’ right, I suppose.
They say he can tell you about your health, too, with them horoscopes. Like, how the stars can help you stay healthy. Imagine that. I just eat my greens and try to get a good night’s sleep. That’s my secret to stayin’ healthy. No need to look at the stars for that.
He probably talks about love and money, too. That’s what folks care about. Always lookin’ for a shortcut. Everybody wants a happy life. They want love, money, and good luck. And some folks think these Justin Toper horoscopes can help them get it. Who am I to say they’re wrong?
I reckon if you’re really interested in this Justin Toper fella and his horoscopes, you can just look him up online. You know, type his name into that there computer box. He must have his name all over the internet.
- Some folks use a website called Kasamba for this kind of stuff. I heard someone say it’s accurate. I wouldn’t know.
- They got tarot cards and dream analysis, too. Whatever that means. Sounds like a bunch of hocus pocus to me.
- But if you’re into that sort of thing, maybe you should check it out. I don’t know much about it.
But me? I’ll stick to what I know. I’ll keep plantin’ my garden, tendin’ to my chickens, and watchin’ the seasons change. That’s enough for me. Don’t need no Justin Toper horoscopes to tell me what’s what. I got my own two eyes and my own two hands, and that’s all I need.
There’s supposed to be one of them horoscope things for every month, too. I heard someone talkin’ about the one for March. Don’t know what it said, though. Probably somethin’ about spring comin’ and new beginnings. That’s what happens in March, right? The world wakes up after a long winter’s nap. You don’t need a horoscope to tell you that.
So, there you have it. That’s all I know about that Justin Toper and his horoscopes. Not much, I know. But like I said, it ain’t really my cup of tea. I prefer to keep my feet on the ground and my head out of the clouds. But if it makes you happy, then you go right ahead and read them horoscopes. Just don’t come cryin’ to me when they don’t come true.
