Well, let me tell you, these horoscopes, they ain’t nothin’ new. Folks been lookin’ at the stars and tryin’ to figure out what’s gonna happen since, well, since forever, I reckon. My old grandma, she used to talk about them all the time. Said they told her when to plant and when to harvest. Me? I just think it’s fun to see what they say, ya know?
Now, they got all these fancy names for ’em. Aries, that’s one. And Taurus, that’s another. Then there’s Gemini, Cancer, Leo, and Virgo. Sounds like a bunch of gibberish to me, but some folks swear by ’em. There’s more too: Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces. Lordy, that’s a mouthful!
They say these horoscopes, they come from the Babylonians. Who are they? I don’t know that. Sounds like ancient history, don’t it? And then, some other folks, the, uh, Hellenistic, they got involved. Changed it all up, I suppose. I just know that the stars, they stay put, no matter what you call ’em.
They talk about your “Big Three” now, these horoscope folks. It’s like your sun sign, your moon sign, and your… uh… ‘scendant sign. All based on when you were born. Mine is Taurus. Seems to fit, I’m stubborn as a mule. But that’s just me. It’s different for everybody. It is about the planets. I don’t know about all those planets. The old man, he used to point them out to me in the sky. Mars, that’s the red one. Said it meant war. Jupiter, that’s a big one. He said it meant good luck. Venus, oh she’s pretty, that one. Said it meant love. Never did see no love comin’ from that star, but he sure believed it.
- Aries (The Ram): March 21 – April 19
- Taurus (The Bull): April 20 – May 20
- Gemini (The Twins): May 21 – June 20
- Cancer (The Crab): June 21 – July 22
- Leo (The Lion): July 23 – August 22
- Virgo (The Virgin): August 23 – September 22
- Libra (The Scales): September 23 – October 22
- Scorpio (The Scorpion): October 23 – November 21
- Sagittarius (The Archer): November 22 – December 21
- Capricorn (The Goat): December 22 – January 19
- Aquarius (The Water Bearer): January 20 – February 18
- Pisces (The Fish): February 19 – March 20
You can find your daily horoscope, they update it every day, they say. Tells you about your job, your health, your money, even your love life! Can you believe that? I don’t know if I’d trust a star to tell me who to love, but hey, to each their own.
And it’s all free, these daily horoscopes. They tell you what to watch out for, what the future holds. Like readin’ tea leaves, I guess, but in the sky instead of a cup. Some people read their horoscope every day. Some just once in a while. I read mine sometimes, just for fun. See if it says I’m gonna win the lottery. Ain’t happened yet, but a girl can dream, right?
You pick your zodiac sign, that’s what they call it, and it gives you your horoscope. For the day, for the week, even for the whole darn month! People use them for all sorts of things. Love, work, money, you name it. The stars are supposed to tell you everything, if you know how to listen, they say. That’s what the horoscope is supposed to be. A way to listen to the stars.
They say you can read your daily horoscope, your weekly horoscope, and even your monthly horoscope. That’s a lot of readin’ about the stars! I don’t know about every week. Once in a while is good enough for me. The stars ain’t gonna change that much from day to day, are they? But some folks like to keep up with it. Makes ’em feel better, I guess. Like they got some control over things. I don’t know about control. Life just happens, don’t it? Stars or no stars.
You can find these horoscopes all over the place now. Used to be just in the newspaper, but now they’re on the, uh, interwebs, too. Easy to find, if you know where to look. Just gotta type in “daily horoscope” or “weekly horoscope” or whatever you’re lookin’ for. The twins, they do a horoscope. They are all over the place. It’s all there, waitin’ for ya. These horoscopes, they ain’t hard to come by.
These horoscope folks, they do a horoscope for every sign, every day, every week, every month. That’s a lot of work, ain’t it? I wonder if they ever get tired of lookin’ at the stars. They tell you about love, about work, about money. And they match you up with other signs, tell you who you’re supposed to get along with. It’s all a bit much for me, but some folks, they eat it up. They say it helps ’em, these horoscopes. Helps ’em make decisions, helps ’em understand themselves. I don’t know. I think you just gotta live your life and see what happens. Stars can’t tell you everything. But I guess some folks find it interestin’. And there ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.
